MISREADING

A Feminist Library

STACKS

Imagining ‘America’: My Mother’s Refugee Journey to America

For much of my life I had dreamt of one day writing down my family’s refugee narrative. I had envisioned a beautiful photo, audio, and essay project that would do justice to their story. But I never quite got there.

I would begin to write, transcribe her words, and then weep. Putting into words her refugee story somehow made it real. It was not just a distant tale of heroism, escape, and hope. It was my mother, my family, me, who lived this reality.

[Read more…] about Imagining ‘America’: My Mother’s Refugee Journey to America

a two-step misstep to the clackety clacks of computer keys

Command + A step here.
Control + Zipper. No, zebra. A zigging and zagging and surrender to the zephyr on my cheek.
Option + Alt you. You hilarious tease of forgotten functions.

//

Mavis Beacon, did you say something?
I can’t hear you between the patterned pecks of perfect precision.
Move/Be/Do Here, there. now. Everywhere. Nowhere.

Boolean
y
n
CAPSLOCK n.o.
Return to

\\

A song in my stomach, twisted into computerized contortions
A wellspring of movement, made mistakenly malicious.

The way you make me feel, I make me feel, I make me me.
Seeps out, secretly through the meticulous cracks of caked fears.

An
inhale
exhale.

A nod. Then two.
A twitch of the finger
tips of the toes bounce in the tight space between.

>>> spam = ‘A mischievous literary litany’
>>> spam

A sly smile, a knowing glance
to the Miss Step, who was always there,
here
everywhere
and nowhere.

+++++

—

Shibuya, Tokyo 2018

Written to the rhythm of Dirty Computer, Janelle Monae.

An Asian American’s Language of Mental Health: Empowerment and Understanding through Conversation

I never learned the word ‘mental health’ in English (my language of primary expression) until my 20’s. It took nearly another decade until I actually began to understand what that even meant. I am still learning this word in Vietnamese (my language of communication with my parents).

However, language is more than the sum of vocabulary words. Language is context, subtle unspoken gestures, symbolic actions and its mis/interpretations. Language is when my mom made me canh khổ qua (bittermelon soup, my favorite) after I mumbled through tears that I needed to get mental health support.

[Read more…] about An Asian American’s Language of Mental Health: Empowerment and Understanding through Conversation

Introducing “Mẹ [Mom], Translated”

Dear friends,

I am sharing with you meaningful news of my project “Mẹ [Mom], Translated,” because you have helped to contribute to its fruition in some way shape or form–from teaching me about Vietnamese history, language, and Asian American identity to empowering my artistic voice to write, express, and share my work.

“Mẹ [Mom], Translated” is a mixed-media art project on love, language, memory and everything lost in translation. Inspired by the work of Viet Thanh Nguyen, I made this project intentionally not for the dominant audience. Rather, I sought to dwell on the act of translation — that universal human yearning to understand and be understood. Vietnamese words in the pieces are not always translated to English because I wanted to convey the complexity of comprehension/miscomprehension between different languages, generations, and also through the nostalgic and bittersweet filters of memory.However, I explain the concepts through poetic voice and through visual symbols, actions, and subtle gestures.

[Read more…] about Introducing “Mẹ [Mom], Translated”

“The Undeniable Force of Khó Khăn” Film

A film on the bittersweet nature of love, language, and memory.

Directed, Produced, Edited, Words by Cindy Nguyen from the original essay
Cinematography by Eric Kim

Read Cindy Nguyen’s Open Letter Response >

Latest News and Press:

Film Premiere and Artist Talkback at Viet Film Fest at AMC 30 in Orange, California (October 2019) >

Artist Talk on Translation and Film at Harvard University (February 2020) >

[Read more…] about “The Undeniable Force of Khó Khăn” Film

Ba / Father 23:03

I introduce “Family Notes” Project and read Ba/Father 23:03 at LA Review of Books 2019. Learn more about Family Notes >

We hover around the curved glass of the monitor, its blue light washes over my brother and sister’s faces–innocent and focused. I squeeze between my siblings and shove from my face the static strands of my hair. With a few soft clicks and precise movement, my brother maneuvers the mouse to bring up the surveillance footage named “02-04-1999-23_00.mov”

My fingers mechanically twist the worn metal clasp of my red Tết purse —a nervous twitch that returned around the months of January to February when Lunar New Year’s invited family gatherings, gambling, and lucky money gifts. This year’s bounty was a proud 8 dollars and 32 cents.

[Read more…] about Ba / Father 23:03